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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Analyzing the global psyche with Google

{Query} [Google-Recommended Completion]

{How to}
tie a tie
lose weight fast
get pregnant
get a girl to like you
write a cover letter
write a resume
solve a rubix cube
make jello shots
make it in america

{How do I}
find my ip address
get a passport
know if im pregnant
get my work copyrighted
love thee
delete my facebook account
download youtube videos
delete my myspace
breathe lyrics

{What is}
my ip
my ip address
lady gaga's real name
a good credit score
the meaning of life
cinco de mayo

{My girlfriend and I}
have nothing to talk about
fight all the time
are growing apart
are having communication problems
have nothing in common
are on a break
are bored
always fight
are going to different colleges
broke up

{My boyfriend and I}
fight all the time
have nothing to talk about
are growing apart
are on a break
can't communicate
are fighting
are bored
fight a lot
always fight


The average internet user is most concerned about finding a mate, a complicated process which often involves ties, jello shots, and kissing.  To impress potential mates, the average internet user is: looking for a good job; traveling to other countries; losing weight; writing books; and solving Rubix cubes.  To avoid scaring off potential mates (and perhaps potential employers), the average internet user is considering closing their accounts on various social networking sites.  Perhaps the only thing the average internet user is as interested in finding as true love is their IP address.

Once they have found a mate, the average internet user is desperately unhappy.  Regardless, the average internet user proceeds to make babies (a poorly-understood process).